


may i (love you)

by lifeisadoozy



Series: dousy song fics [21]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Nightmares, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28503789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeisadoozy/pseuds/lifeisadoozy
Summary: Daisy lives life after the team, her family leaves to live their lives. Daniel's a big part of it.
Relationships: Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Series: dousy song fics [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048267
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46





	may i (love you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I just love the quote that May said, so that's how I opened this fic, and ended it technically. Hope you'll enjoy! The song is "May I" by Trading Yesterday/The Age of Information (not sure which one is the official name of the artist/band).

_ You don’t get to choose who cares about you _ . 

Daisy had learnt a long time ago that people leave. And that some of those people who leave, truly cares for her. But it didn’t stop the nightmares from creeping in. It didn’t stop the uneasy stillness whenever she’s alone. It didn’t stop her mind from spiraling into its deepest and darkest holes. 

She used to hope. She used to stand with an open heart and an open door. Filled with so much love and life, in a world that’s always wanting more. Skye used to be her escape. Escape from the indefinite future she had. Escape from Mary Sue Poots who didn’t have a family, who didn’t have a home. 

Then she became Daisy. Daisy found her family. Both blood, and the family that matters. Daisy found a home. In SHIELD, in Coulson and May, in Fitzsimmons, in Mack, in Yo-Yo, in _Lincoln_. But then one of those homes died. _Lincoln_ died. The once open heart, closed as she left her home. She ran away from it. Why?

_ Because everywhere I go, death follows. _

But after 2 years of holding onto the ghost of the man she once loved, after a year of finally letting him go and moving on, after knowing who she is, inhuman and all, she found Daniel Sousa. It took her _years_ to be okay, to be happy with herself. But Sousa, within the few days that they knew each other, he could miraculously read her as if he had read her his whole life. As if she’s etched in his veins. 

And Daniel? He saw this strong, independent, admirable woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders and his instinct was to trust her. So, it didn’t shock him when Daisy told him about the time loops. About him blindly trusting her with his life. About him wanting to help her with whatever she needed. 

He could see when the lights started to fade from her eyes. He saw it when she talked about Lincoln, about Hydra, Ward, about losing people. He saw it again when it was time for her family to leave. Once they did, and the day is done, her smile, her smile that she plastered across her face, putting up a bravado, it had gone away. It was replaced with her tear-stained cheeks. It was replaced with her knees tucked under her chest.

He saw her in her bunk, staring straight at the wall in front of her bed. Her eyes that was once swirling with emotions, was replaced with emptiness. It was hollow. It held nothing. And that scared Daniel. He knew that kind of loss. Even though her family’s alive, and he knew that she’s never been more grateful that they’re alive, it’s not the same. 

He knew that she would rather have them face another worldly threat together than be separated. But he also knew that even though she wants to be selfish, she would be her own hero and let them go their own ways. Because that’s who she is. She would pick herself back up. He knew that tomorrow, she would pull him and Kora and start a mission of her own. 

So, for tonight, he would sit on the edge of her bed and be there for her. 

“Hey.” He called out. 

“Hi.” She croaked. Eyes filled with _something_ , which is better than nothing. She cleared her throat. “What are you doing here?” 

“I just want to be here for you.” He looked at her with so much love and honesty and openness that she didn’t know what to do. 

“I—” She took one more look at him. “Thank you.” She whispered. 

“I’m staying.” He searched her eyes. “And so’s Kora.” 

“I know.” She murmured.

He looked at her, and she was looking back at the wall. He extended his hand. She slowly turned and looked down on his open palm. He told her, once upon a time-loop, that he wanted to pick her back up when she slams headlong into a brick wall. Well, he’s here. With an open heart and his thoughtful mind, ready to raise her up. Accepting help is not second nature to her. In fact, it’s the most foreign thing in the world. But he makes her want to try. So, she took his hand, and held it tight. 

He moved to sit right next to her. _Not as square as I thought_ , she mused. And he sat there, cradling her hand, looking at the wall in front of her. It was quiet. Silent. Comfortable. Her eyes started to be filled with all kinds of emotions again when he gazed back into it. She took a deep breath. 

“Thank you.” She said, earnestly. 

Days went by. No more of those hollow eyes. But then the nightmares came. And the Lighthouse shook. Daniel jolted up. Being in the army meant being hyper aware of everything, especially when a bomb had hit the base, or an earthquake is happening. This was no bomb. This was no earthquake either. This was Daisy. _Something’s wrong_. 

He quickly put on his prosthetic leg and went to her bunk. He knocked. No answer. So, he barged right in. Daisy’s tossing and turning. He didn’t know what to do. Nightmares were something he experienced regularly. Though he didn’t have superpowers to heighten them to the outside world, he knew that sometimes he needed to be shook awake, and other times, it would be best to let him calm down on his own. 

But if he waits for her to stop, the Lighthouse might’ve been too damaged. So, he took a calculated risk, and hope that Daisy would be okay. His hand went up on her shoulder, and she instantly relaxed under his touch. The shaking had become a light rumble. He decided to try his luck once more and called her. 

“Daisy.” He muttered. 

He shook her shoulders, hoping that the action would wake her up. It did. 

“Daniel?” Her furrowed eyebrows and questioning gaze found him. 

“Yeah. It’s me.” He went to sit by her. “You had a nightmare. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I’m okay.” She paused. “Did I—did I wake you? Did I quake the Lighthouse?” Her eyes widened in fear. 

“No. I mean—yes, you quaked the Lighthouse but it’s nothing it can’t handle.” He gave her a soft smile. “It’s still standing.” 

She sighed in relief. “Okay. That’s—umm—that’s good.” 

“Yeah. Can you go back to sleep?” He gently asked her. 

“I—I don’t know.” She looked small. And afraid. Of her nightmares. Of the dark. Of being alone. 

“May I—” He cleared his throat. And tentatively reached out his hand. “—May I hold you?” Then his eyes widened in panic. “It might help to have someone there. To keep the nightmares at bay.” 

Her tensed shoulders relaxed at the thought of him. “Yeah. Yeah, you may.” She nodded.

So, he slipped underneath the blanket, opened his arms as she placed her head on his chest and her face burrowed in it. His hands went on her waist. Not too far down or too far up. She took a deep breath and the scent of him, it brought her a sense of peace. That night, no more nightmares came to visit either of them. 

Since then, she would seek him out. When she could tell that she would have another sleepless night, or a night where she knew would cause her to lose a little bit of herself, when the world is closing in and she can’t breathe, she would reach her hand out and grasp his. He would let her pull him into her bunk and he was content with holding her as she falls to sleep. 

All he wanted was to keep her safe from the cold. From her hollow eyes. From her haunting nightmares. He wanted to give her all that her heart needs the most. And he did. And she happily accepted all of him. Because she realized that she kept everyone safe from some high-level threat, and there used to be no one to keep her safe from anything she fears. Not the way Daniel did. And now he’s here. Keeping her safe when she needs him to. 

_ You don’t get to choose who cares about you. _

May’s right. She doesn’t get to choose who cares about her. And she’s okay with that. She’s okay with the fact that Lincoln loved her so much that he would sacrifice himself for her (no, she won’t ever stop feeling guilty about it, but she had accepted it). She’s okay with how Coulson and May would always look out for her like parents looking out for their child. She’s okay with Mack being a big brother and making sure she’s in good hands. She’s okay with Fitzsimmons giving her the title of Aunt to her _niece_. She’s okay with Kora looking up to her like she’s the big sister (that is still up to debate). And she’s most definitely okay with Daniel taking care of her. 

Daniel’s glad that she would accept his help. Because all that’s made him who he is, is all worth trading, just to have one moment with her. Because even if she decides to walk out the next day, if she decides that he’s not worth being with, if she decides that she deserves better ( _because she deserves much more than me_ , he thought), he’s okay with giving her all of him to just have a moment with her. 

He had tried to stop being such a _square_. To let go of all that he once knew. But she told him that she doesn’t want that. 

“I like that you’re a square. Squares are great. They’re sturdy and steady and dependable. They stay. Squares stay. And I like that about you.” 

“You do?” He asked her with that hopeful puppy eyes. 

“Of course I do. Why do you think I keep you around?” She teased. 

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe cause you need back up sometimes, _Quake_.” He said, with a playful tone to his voice.

She laughed. She laughed and he knew that she’s here with him, and she’s changing him. For the better. He could only hope that he does the same for her. 

He does. He inspires her to be the best version of who she is. His gentle care and kind eyes made her feel taken care of. So that she can then take care of the world. 

Months had passed. And their relationship had gotten stronger. They’re looking for a place to call home together. Neither had had those for a while. To Daisy, SHIELD had been home. The Zephyr had been home. Coulson’s ramblings about SHIELD history had been home. May’s training and Tai Chi sessions had been home. Fitzsimmons arguing and bouncing ideas off of one another had been home. Mack’s warm hugs had been home. Conversations with Yo-Yo had been home. 

To Daniel, SHIELD had been home too. His house was just an empty shell where he ate and slept in. Rooting out problems had been home. Being partners with Peggy had been home. Listening to Thompson’s taunts had been home. Talking to Rose before work had been home. Fighting for the greater good had been home. 

So, when they had found an apartment to call home, it was such an alien feeling. And they had fought aliens. Even _that_ felt like home. They moved in, with boxes all over the place. Then, slowly but surely, the boxes emptied. The living room was filled with pictures that they took. Of each other, of their families, of friends. Their bedroom became a safe space. A space where they would be vulnerable to one another. Where nightmares were welcome, but the hugs and cuddles would always drive them away. Where breakdowns happen, but the soft kisses and a stroke of their hair would calm them down. 

The apartment became home. A place to come back to after a challenging day. A place to gather with family and friends when they’re around. A place that has a bedroom especially for Kora because she would crash in their place every so often. A place where the couch is a pull up for when Fitzsimmons would come over and Alya would take Kora’s room. A place that they could breathe and put work to the back of their minds. 

But the apartment’s not _home_. It’s a place to _call_ home, yes. But their home? It’s in each other. And when she had one of those hollow-eyes days, he’s there. Holding her hand. And then, he asked her something. 

“Daisy.” He paused, looked over at her. She gazed back at him, emotions coming back at a slower pace. “May I—may I be your shield?” 

She tilted her head to the side, confused. “What do you mean?” She muttered.

“When it’s just us. You don’t have to keep fighting all the time. And when you need to stop the world from throwing so much crap at you, _pardon my French_.” He saw her mouth twitch up slightly. “Let me be your shield. Not to protect you, because I know you can handle anything. But to give you a pause. To give you time to breathe. And when you’re ready, you can go back to fighting. But you don’t have to, not when you’re with me.” He paused. Smiled. And continued. “And when you’re too tired to move, or when you run into those walls too hard, may I lay you down? So you can get a good night’s rest without guarding the world. Would you let me?” 

Her emotions came rushing back. Because he just gave her another speech. Another speech that made her feel like she had peeled all her skin off and he’s reading her down to her veins and her bones. Another speech that left her speechless. And this might be the last time her eyes would go hollow. Because she lets him in. Fully. She lets him be her shield. And with her shield, those episodes would fade away. 

“Yeah. You may, Daniel.” She smiled; it reached her eyes. And he’s glad. He opened up his arms as she crawled in. He kissed the top of her head as she kissed his chest. 

A couple weeks later, when she was strolling down the park, finally content and happy, with Daniel beside her, holding her hand, she had suddenly unearthed a feeling. A feeling that she buried deep down inside. Love. She’s in love with him. _I’m in love with him_. Odd. It didn’t make her want to run the other way. She grinned at him as he smiled that genuine, fond smile. Her other hand reached up to his arm and her head fell onto his shoulder. She could feel his lips on her forehead, and she looked up and captured his lips on hers. 

That night, they were in bed, bodies intertwined under the sheets, in their pajamas, ready for sleep, she looked up at him lovingly. As he looked down at her with his adoring puppy eyes.

“Daniel?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart? I’m right here.” He assured her.

“I know. You always are.” She smiled. 

“What is it, Dais?” He asked softly.

“May I love you?” She felt _so_ happy and _so_ content, as if she’s drifting on a still ocean, watching the sky. For once in her life, she’s comfortable to let her guard down. For once in her life, she opens the door to her heart to let someone in. No need to break down her walls. No need to strike it down. She opens the door happily for Daniel. Because with him, she doesn’t feel the need to protect herself. He’s her shield, after all. 

“As long as you let me love you too, honey.” He replied, giving her his heart, knowing that she would keep it safe. 

_ You don’t get to choose who cares about you. _

Maybe not. But she gets to choose who to let in. Who to be vulnerable around. Who to take care of her. And she chose Daniel Sousa. Always will. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
